unsafe investments
by kerrykins
Summary: This time, all of Madeline and Renata's mistakes will be completely new ones.


Notes: Written for an event in the Fiction & Femslash server. Leaving it here because I don't want more people to read it than necessary, and I doubt I'll finish/continue this story :( Nonetheless, enjoy! Reviews are love!

* * *

_"__There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable."_

— C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

* * *

It turned out that Madeline had been right to dread Orientation Day.

Her enthusiasm regarding the start of Chloe's academic career was by no means artificial, though tampered down by a healthy dose of apprehension. All the other mothers would be in attendance, including Renata Klein.

That woman was notoriously angry, a corporate bitch, all sharp edges and sharp words, but she was also the person that Madeline had been stupid enough to have a two-week fling with. The sex had been good, better than anything Madeline had with Ed or Nathan or anyone else, for that matter. Renata was as vicious in bed as expected, tearing Madeline's clothes off without pretense, burying her fingers so deep inside that it hurt.

They had their calm moments too. Sex was always followed by Renata fetching her a glass of water from the kitchen and if Madeline focused enough, she could hear the tap running. Renata's soft footfalls across the carpeted floor. The murmur of waves just outside the bedroom window. A soft, salty breeze rustling the silk drapes. When they had time, they'd lay in bed for a bit with their hands intertwined. Sometimes they'd talk. Sometimes they didn't. Regardless of what option they ran with, they were happy.

Renata and Madeline tiptoed and whispered their way through the entire affair, until it fizzled out into nothing. Renata stopped answering Madeline's texts. Madeline stopped sending them. That was the end of it, no further discussion. It was fine. Madeline was fine.

Old wounds were reopened because of an incident involving a strangled child. What else was Madeline supposed to do? Let Renata tear sweet Jane and her son to shreds? No way. Everyone knew that being a bystander was worse than a perpetrator. So, Madeline had stupidly, accidentally gotten herself tangled up with Renata Klein again.

The drive back home that day was silent, far too quiet for Madeline's liking. Chloe was listening to music with earbuds instead of blasting it at top volume, which was highly uncharacteristic of her. She wouldn't meet Madeline's eye in the rearview mirror. When they reached home, Chloe dashed out the car and into the house, leaving her backpack behind for Madeline to carry inside. The kitchen smelled of cheese and rosemary, Ed standing at the stove and preparing dinner. He gave her a small peck on the cheek before they pulled up their stools, called the kids over, chastised Chloe for turning up the stereo too loud.

Madeline told him what happened at Orientation Day in great detail, dramatising some parts and completely disregarding the rest. He nodded along dutifully and asked Abigail to pass the salt. Madeline most certainly did not mention that the reason she was so worked up about Renata was because they used to fuck, and she was worried she might cheat on Ed again.

The more wine she drank, the more garbled her thoughts became, and she decided to retire early for bed. It wasn't until late at night when she realised she hadn't even told Ed about Nathan and the resentment that had flared up in her at the sight of him and his new wife.

The realisation ate at her until the early hours of the morning, when sunlight snuck past the blinds and casted long shadows across the floor and it was time to get ready for school.

She hadn't slept at all.

* * *

Renata drew her robe around herself tightly before rising to her feet. She and Gordon didn't sleep in the same room anymore, not since Madeline. At the time it had felt wrong to share the same bed she'd fucked Madeline in with Gordon— now Renata just disliked sleeping with him.

Amabella was no doubt asleep still but like Renata, she was an early riser and didn't need prompting to get out of bed. On her way to the staircase, she nudged open Amabella's door ajar, smiling to herself when she saw that Amabella had an arm wrapped around one of the innumerable stuffed animals on her bed.

As Renata brewed her coffee, the mechanical whirring eerily loud in the large, not-yet-awake house, she thought back to the events of yesterday. The red lines around Amabella's neck had brought out a violent kind of anger in her, one that Renata had lost herself in.

Now the initial adrenaline had long left her, leaving Renata jaded and afraid. That bully had hurt her little girl and he might do it again. Renata couldn't help but feel frustrated with the lack of action against him. Why didn't anyone care? Was it because none of the other moms liked her and thought she deserved it? They thought her kid deserved that? Would they have reacted differently if it was another first grader, another mother?

Worst of all, Madeline was part of the problem now. Renata tightened her jaw as she paced along the length of the kitchen. If she had known this would have happened, she would have pulled Amabella out of Otter Bay and enrolled her into private school instead. Alas, she hadn't, and now she had a scared daughter and an angry ex— as if Madeline was Renata's ex-girlfriend, when she was really just another bad mistake Renata had made. The mistake that had jeopardised her career, her family, her marriage.

Amabella poked her head around the corner, watching her mother with a troubled expression. In her arm she clutched a baby blanket, even though she was technically too old for them. Renata didn't have the heart to confiscate it.

"Good morning, sweetie," Renata greeted her, making an effort to sound normal. "You hungry? We still have some of Marcia's pancakes in the fridge." Marcia was their cook, who Renata had just granted a week off. "We can put raspberries and whipped cream on it, if you want." Normally she'd delegate the task to Juliette, the new nanny occupying a guest room— but this was something she wanted to do herself.

Amabella only nodded before taking a seat at the table, her face vacant. Pain swelled in Renata's chest as she turned away and opened the fridge.

* * *

Madeline ran smack into Renata the next day. She was handing out pretty pink envelopes with names written on them in an even prettier cursive scrawl. Madeline and Chloe briefly exchanged a glance as if to ask, 'is she serious?'

"Madeline," Renata called, beckoning her over with a disarming smile. Madeline hated the way Renata pronounced her name— 'Madeline' instead of 'Madeline.' She also hated the small spark of excitement that came with it.

"What's this, Renata?" Madeline raised an eyebrow. "Sending threats to every kid on the playground? Doesn't sound like the wisest course of action."

"I'm just sending out invitations for Amabella's birthday party this Saturday. You'll be able to make it?"

Madeline pretended to think about it, tilting her head to one side. "Hm, I'm not sure. Is Ziggy Chapman invited by any chance?"

Renata's mouth drew into a tight line. "Unfortunately, I'm a bit hesitant to do that. You haven't already forgotten what happened yesterday, right? I know I wasn't the only one who saw what happened." She laughed it off, but it was too cold and too forced.

"None of us saw what happened," Madeline shot back. "You're just blaming Ziggy because it's easy, even though you have no proof."

"My Amabella said it's him and I believe her. You think she would lie about something like that? You think my daughter is making this all up?" Renata's voice was rising dangerously and people were beginning to stare.

"No," Madeline replied, her voice cool. "Just that maybe you should find the boy that actually did it so you can leave Jane and Ziggy alone." Chloe wiggled free of Madeline's hand and ran off to join her friends, making just the two of them.

Renata's lip curled into a snarl but before she could retaliate, Harper materialised out of nowhere, oblivious to what she had just interrupted. She chattered aimlessly about pretentious nothings, until Renata cut her off.

"Madeline," she said, her voice sickeningly sweet. "I look forward to seeing you at the party." Renata handed her an envelope before striding off, her coat billowing behind her with every brisk step. Harper shot Madeline a look of smug satisfaction before running to catch up with Renata.

Celeste joined her side, balancing two backpacks and a pink invitation of her own. She looked between Renata's retreating back and Madeline.

"What just happened?"

Madeline just shook her head and embraced Celeste in a one-armed hug. "Nothing, I'll tell you later."

Jane showed up a couple minutes later, flustered and explaining that Ziggy had been hell to get out of the house. That made sense.

Madeline watched as Ziggy bounced off to join Chloe and Skye, who both greeted him with easy smiles. Celeste's twins joined them shortly, and soon the other children were crowding around them too. At the centre of it all stood Chloe, their little ringleader. Madeline's heart ached at the sight, her little girl just beginning to grow up and slip away. A foolish part of her wanted things to stay like this forever, for her to always needing to help Chloe button up her coat, to pack her lunch in the mornings. This was an era of juice boxes and light-up Skechers that would go as soon as it had come. Madeline just had to bear that in mind, as painful as it was.

She drew her attention back to her friends. Celeste's brow was knit as Jane spoke in that sweet, worried way of hers.

"People will definitely move on, just give it time," Celeste was saying. "It must be very difficult for you, though. Don't try to dwell on it too much." She awkwardly pat Jane's arm in a gesture Madeline thought might be one of reassurance. Jane's lips tugged into a small, shy smile.

Madeline was the one to break the moment. "I don't know about you guys, but I could really go for a cup of coffee right now."


End file.
